What a load of beige

Hi Reader,

Beige crayon is fed up.

Brown gets to colour bears, ponies and puppies. Beige gets turkey dinners and wheat.

Imagine spending your working life colouring in wheat.

I’d quit too!!

These are the workplace grievances in ‘The Day the Crayons Quit’, a book I’ve read my kid A LOT!

Duncan’s crayons have had enough and are putting their complaints in writing. Blue has the opposite problem. He’s been used so much he can barely see over the edge of the box.

If this book were about AI-written job applications, beige would be the one worn down to a stump.

Say you give AI this:

“I organised rosters for 45 casual staff across three stores and introduced one shared process for arranging shift cover.”

And ask it to sound more professional.

Back comes:

“Demonstrated exceptional workforce management capabilities within a dynamic operational environment.”

Lovely.

Were you running three shops or commanding a submarine?

We’ve lost the staff, the stores and the thing you actually changed. But apparently your capabilities were exceptional.

What a magnificent way to tell an employer absolutely nothing.

But I can see why people accept it.

You’re tired, and the machine produces something fluent and confident, and you think: finally, that sounds like someone worth hiring.

Except the useful details have disappeared under a fresh coat of corporate paint.

To be fair, humans were writing this crap long before AI.

It’s just that now we can churn it out faster.

​Henry Stoneley recently wrote about AI overusing familiar persuasive writing patterns until they start provoking suspicion. He sees an opportunity for distinctive writing.

I see it in resumes and cover letters.

If everyone else is an “exceptional professional”, you can give the employer something more useful than a glowing review of yourself.

That roster example already gives us scale, responsibility and a specific change. But I’d want to know why you introduced the shared process.

Were shifts going uncovered?

Were managers wasting half their Sunday finding someone to work Monday? What changed once you fixed it?

Was it part of a bigger effort to improve staffing across all three stores?

Those answers could reveal a stronger accomplishment than “organised rosters”, and a clearer reason to consider you for the job.

That’s actually the work I want AI helping you do.

So, if you are getting it to help, then make it question you.

Try something like this:

“Before rewriting this, ask me questions about why it was needed, what changed and whether it contributed to a bigger result. Don’t assume the answers. Push for better answers.”

Then check the wording against what actually happened.

Because an impressive result that never happened is still BS.

You’ve got years of experience to draw from. Difficult decisions. Things you fixed. Work you dismiss because it felt ordinary to you.

There’s colour in there.

So put the beige crayon down.

~Lisa

Your Q&A

Does Homeschooling Count?

Hi Lisa,

I’m returning to the workforce after homeschooling my kids for the past 6 years. My middle child has a learning disability, dyslexia, and I’ve helped him get to a 7th-grade reading level as he enters high school. I’ve also coached kids’ soccer for the past 5 years.

I’ve had other recent part-time jobs as an office manager, so I don’t NEED to include homeschool teacher to have recent work experience. But I am applying to teach community classes to older adults on financial planning in retirement, so it could be seen as relevant teaching experience.

My background previously was in financial planning, and I have a law degree. Should I list my position as a homeschool teacher, or leave it out?

I’m not sure how this will be viewed by employers.

Thank you.

Emily

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Hi Emily,

Put it in.

You’re applying to teach community classes. You’ve spent six years teaching. That’s a great reason to give it some space on your resume.

Your financial planning background tells an employer you know the subject. Your homeschooling experience helps show you can explain things to someone who doesn’t.

Those are two different skills. Anyone who’s endured a presentation delivered entirely in acronyms will understand.

I’d list it as “Home Educator”, make clear that you were homeschooling your children, and include a couple of accomplishments.

I love that you’ve found a role that blends the past and the present together!

You’ve got this.

Thanks for writing in.

~Lisa

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This information is for general purposes and doesn’t consider your individual circumstances. It serves educational goals and isn’t formal career advice. Always seek personalised guidance tailored to your needs.

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